If you arrive in the UK on a small boat and you will be ‘detained’; assessed for removal, and returned to France, with no future possibility of claiming as asylum in the UK. That’s the (Labour) party line.

It all sounds very good and proper, except if that was the whole truth, why do so many people risk their lives on a dangerous crossing of the English Channel in rubber boats that are completely unsuited to the task?

They call it the ‘on in, one out’ policy where rubber boat immigrants with no reasonable claim to stay in the UK will be returned to France in exchange for someone the French don’t want, and who has some connection with the UK.

So this allegedly groundbreaking deal with the French sees us trade someone we don’t want for someone we probably don’t want. It’s hard to see how this policy in any way comes close to solving the problem. The maths is simple – one in, one out.

So, if 36,000 people arrived in small boats as they did in 2024, at least we’d be able to upgrade the worst of them for people who might be better suited to life in the UK. Well, no! The deal with the French is described as a ‘trial’ by Home Secretary, Yvette Cooper, and despite it being a supposed deterrent to illegal migrants, she will not ‘fess up to how many are likely to be traded.

Best guest estimates are that for every 800 immigrants that arrive (a figure that arrive each week currently) 50 unlucky losers will end up on the Eurostar back to France. So, the policy should more honestly be called ‘16 in, one out’. Marvellous!!

It’s a start… apparently. But if you were on President Macron’s side of the deal your illegal population problem is still draining at around 750 net per week. Who is laughing, and who’s a laughing stock?

So, since it’s clear the French aren’t going to help us stop the boats, what can we do? For starters, how about we make the UK a far less inviting environment?

So, asylum seekers don’t get free mobile phones, that’s a myth. But they do get financial support to live, free healthcare, including dentistry, and free accommodation, oh, and the ability to disappear into the UK’s burgeoning grey economy, never to be seen again.

You have to ask yourself why the UK’s so attractive. What’s wrong with all the European countries between the immigrants’ origin point and the UK? Why are they prepared to pay big money to illegal traffickers for a ‘dice with death’ rubber boat crossing of one of one of the busiest, most dangerous seaways on earth?

And there’s your answer – it’s worth the risk of not joining the 247 souls who have perished in the Channel since 2018 (73 last year) for a chance of landing in a country that will look after you in style for more time than it takes to disappear and join the invisible ranks of the dark economy.

It sounds trite, but the answer is simple; stop the money, stop the free health care, stop the free hotels, and the boats will stop all by themselves.