Deputy PM Angela Rayner’s dodgy residency row stinks worse by the day. From Manchester to Brighton, her story leaks like a burst pipe, and if Keir Starmer won’t wrench her out of Cabinet, the voters surely will.
If you ask me, Deputy Prime Minister Angela Rayner’s number’s up. She’s clogged the system, sprung a leak on her own story, and the whole thing stinks. If I lived in her Ashton-under-Lyne constituency, I’d be the first in the queue signing a recall petition to flush her out.
Nothing to see here guv’
When this mess first came to light, Rayner’s line was simple: “I’ve done nothing wrong.” She stuck to it like a dodgy bit of duct tape on a burst pipe. But now? She admits she might have done wrong after all. That’s not a slow drip, that’s a full-on gusher. When people change their tune like that, you don’t need to be a master plumber to know the system’s shot.
And then there’s the geography. Rayner’s the MP for Ashton-under-Lyne in Greater Manchester. Parliament sits in London. Yet somehow her primary residence is in Brighton? Pull the other one. That’s like me saying WeFix London HQ is in Penzance while I’m fitting taps in Paddington. It doesn’t add up.
Poor me – I don’t know!
Her excuse is that she “didn’t know.” Absolute nonsense. Anyone who’s ever bought a house knows the drill: piles of paperwork, solicitors firing questions at you, contracts thicker than a lead pipe. You can’t sneeze without a lawyer flagging it up. So, either Rayner did know, in which case she’s been fiddling the system, or she didn’t know, in which case she’s not sharp enough to be running a whelk stall, never mind the country. Either way, it’s game over.
Now she’s been referred to the Prime Minister’s independent adviser on standards. Standards? Don’t make me laugh. The standards we expect from the Deputy Prime Minister should be sky-high. Instead, this is cowboy builder stuff. If I ran my business like that, I’d have been out on my ear decades ago.
Housing hypocrisy!
What makes it worse is the hypocrisy. Out of all the ministers, it’s the housing minister pulling this stunt. You couldn’t make it up. The one who’s supposed to set an example on homes and housing is the one playing fast and loose with her own. If a plumber tried that sort of trick on his invoices, Trading Standards would have him faster than you can say “blocked U-bend.”
The bigger issue here is the attitude. These politicians swan around as if the rules don’t apply to them. They think they can do what they like, rake in the perks, and the rest of us mugs will just keep footing the bill. Well, the public have had enough of being treated like the stopcock at the end of the line.
Starmer cowered by union
And then there’s Keir Starmer. Honestly, the man needs to grow a pair. He should have yanked Rayner out of the Cabinet weeks ago. Instead, he’s sitting on his hands, waiting for the drip to turn into a flood. If he was a plumber, he’d be the one staring at a burst pipe, clipboard in hand, while the water ruins the carpets. Leaders take decisive action. Starmer dithers.
Why? Simple. Rayner’s got union backing. He’s terrified of upsetting them. He’s bottled it. And if he can’t face down one deputy with dodgy paperwork, how’s he going to handle running a government? If you can’t tighten a loose washer, you’ve got no business calling yourself a plumber.
Look, I don’t care about party colours. Labour, Tory, whatever. What I care about is honesty, accountability, and a bit of common sense. Rayner’s shown none of that. The longer she clings on, the more it stinks.
No honesty or accountability
If she had any integrity, she’d have resigned already. But she won’t, because politicians rarely know when to call time on themselves. They think the system will keep bailing them out. Well, this system’s backed up, and it’s time for a full flush.
Angela Rayner is finished. Starmer needs to show some backbone and bin her from the Cabinet. If he doesn’t, the voters of Ashton-under-Lyne might just do the job for him.
